The second instalment of the “true” story behind the events of this year’s race
197 riders, 3642km, hills, cobbles, mountains and time trials. VeloNation takes a sideways, stage-by-stage look at what really happened in this year’s Tour de France.
Haven’t read Part 1 yet? Fortunately for you we’ve provided a link: Tour de France 2010: An Alternative View, Part 1
We rejoin the race as it leaves the Alps and makes its way across the south of France towards its rendezvous with the Pyrénées.
Stage 11: Sisteron to Bourg-lès-Valence, 184.5km
Now that Mark Cavendish is up to speed, the sprint stages threaten to get a bit boring, so Mark Renshaw, Cav’s lead out man, decides to spice things up a bit. A bit of affectionate nuzzling with Julian Dean is misinterpreted by the race commissaires, as is his decision to ride over and speak to Tyler Farrar, and they ask him not to come back tomorrow.
Stage winner: Mark Cavendish
Yellow jersey: Andy Schleck
Stage 12: Bourg-de-Péage to Mende, 210.5km
Alberto Contador follows an attack from Joaquin Rodriguez on the steep Montée Jalabert and they catch the breakaway Vinokourov, who is devastated when Rodriguez robs him of the stage win. The cycling world, inexplicably conditioned to believe that the man who wants to win the Tour should wait for his teammates, finds itself in the unusual position of feeling angry that Vino didn’t win.
“You must be really angry,” the world tells the Kazakh, expecting him to remind us that there’s no ‘I’ in team or something. “Nah, it’s more important for Alberto to win the Tour,” he replies to everybody’s dismay. “I’ll get another chance soon.”
Stage winner: Joaquin Rodriguez
Yellow jersey: Andy Schleck
Stage 13: Rodez to Revel, 196km
After feeling angry that Vino didn’t win yesterday, order is restored as everybody is angry that he does win today. Questions are asked as he manages to outrun an entire ProTour team, until everyone realises that it was Milram; then they’re surprised he didn’t take more time.
Stage winner: Alexandre Vinokourov
Yellow jersey: Andy Schleck
Stage 14: Revel to Ax-3-Domaines, 184.5km
Contador and Schleck hint at a possible partnership in the six-days circuit on the track this winter as they practice their track stands on the climb to the finish. Christophe Riblon continues the French revolution by staying away for the win, revealing that all they need is a head start and a neutralised peloton and the French will win the Tour next year.
Stage winner: Christophe Riblon
Yellow jersey: Andy Schleck
Stage 15: Pamiers to Bagnères-de-Luchon, 187.5km
Scandal strikes the Tour in the Pyrénées as the French champion wins a really big mountain stage and nobody notices.
In other news, Andy Schleck attacks and then drops his chain on the Port de Balès and Contador doesn’t stop. Andy Schleck briefly becomes Angry Schleck; ‘that’s racing’ says his manager Bjarne Riis, and virtually all the other Tour winners and team directors who are asked to express a preference; ‘no it’s not’ say all the internet blogs and forums in the World, and they know better after all.
Anyway, it was only 39 seconds; they won’t matter in the long run…
Stage winner: Thomas Voeckler
Yellow jersey: Alberto Contador
Stage 16: Bagnères-de-Luchon to Pau, 199.5km
After a nice day’s rest, that lovely young man Pierrick Fédrigo kindly takes a party of seniors out on a picturesque excursion around the Pyrénées. ‘Follow me and try not to get lost’, he shouts as he crosses the line on their arrival back to Pau. ‘Where can we get a good early birds special?’ ask Messrs Armstrong, Horner and Moreau.
Stage winner: Pierrick Fédrigo
Yellow jersey: Alberto Contador
Stage 17: Pau to Col du Tourmalet, 174km
So keen to accommodate everyone these days, Contador makes sure the peloton waits for Sammy Sanchez, who becomes the latest member of Euskaltel-Euskadi p/b Keystone Cops to trip over his own shoelaces. The considerate Alberto even slows down to allow a group of woolly pedestrians to cross the road.
When the action starts on the Tourmalet, good friends Alberto and Andy ride up together; ever the courteous gentleman, Contador insists that Schleck goes first.
Sadly that nice young Mr Fédrigo is a bit late getting up the mountain and isn’t on hand to help French President Nicolas Sarkozy across the road. The diminutive 55-year-old is forced to brave the traffic alone and is run over by Jurgen Van Den Broeck.
Stage winner: Andy Schleck
Yellow jersey: Alberto Contador
Stage 18: Salles-de-Béarn to Bordeaux, 198km
A dull, flat stage through a dull, flat part of France is livened up by the presence of two Hollywood A-listers using the Tour de France podium to shamelessly plug their latest film.
Question: How will Cav cope without Renshaw to lead him out?
Answer: He’ll make it look even easier.
Stage winner: Mark Cavendish
Yellow jersey: Alberto Contador
Stage 19: Bordeaux to Pauillac, 52km
Fabian Cancellara gets an early start and fairly melts the tarmac on his way around the flat course through the vineyards. Bad news for the later starters though is that the turbulent air coming off Spartacus’ rear disk wheel creates a massive headwind for them to cope with.
Schleck goes faster than Contador at first, but spends too long perusing the wine list in the feedzone. There’s nothing Contador likes more than being abused in blogs and forums so, as he approaches the finish with full knowledge of Schleck’s time, he deliberately slows down to make sure the two of them finish the race 39 seconds apart.
Stage Winner: Fabian Cancellara
Yellow jersey: Alberto Contador
Stage 20: Longjumeau to Paris Champs-Elysées, 102.5km
There’s a shock at the start of the stage, when Lance Armstrong realises that he doesn’t own the Tour any more. The race commissaires inform him that the black jersey is the last placed rider in the Giro d’Italia, not the Tour de France, and anyway he hasn’t done all that badly.
Schleck and Contador briefly toy with one another on the road to Paris, before Cav toys with Alessandro Petacchi on the Champs-Elysées.
Stage Winner: Mark Cavendish
Race Winner: Alberto Contador
So that’s the Tour over for another year, and all the riders go home amid promises that they’ll come back to win next year.
Many fans out there already can’t wait for July 2nd, 2011, but there’s plenty of racing to enjoy between now and then. For all that and more, stay tuned to VeloNation.com!